


A Letter To Finn

by cannotbreakamangledthing



Category: Glee
Genre: Other, St. Berry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-07
Updated: 2018-09-07
Packaged: 2019-07-08 02:23:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15920956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cannotbreakamangledthing/pseuds/cannotbreakamangledthing
Summary: Today, in therapy, Jesse realized he was finally ready to let go of a ghost.And so he writes a letter to the one man he could never fully shake: Finn Hudson, missed every day since his untimely demise, especially by Rachel Berry.The love of Finn's life, who eventually moved forward and blessed Jesse with her love.





	A Letter To Finn

**Author's Note:**

> When something changes your life as much as Glee did mine, it's not easy to shake. This is for Alice and Bianca, with all my St. Berry-loving heart.

"Does Rachel know you've been holding on to this all these years? You talked to her, right?" Dr. Qi says, adjusting his glasses and leaning forward to look Jesse in the eyes.

Jesse doesn't flinch, nodding. "It comes up. Especially now..." he trails off and sighs. "We might make the baby's middle name Finn."

A low whistle is the initial response. "That's a big step, Jesse."

"It's the right step."

"Not original."

"No, but I think it'll be good for her."

Nodding, the doctor says he agrees, and assigns Jesse to write a letter.

A final one.

* * *

 

The first time he asked her out was a year after Finn's death.

They were friends throughout that time, and she'd gone on to work on more shows. Typical Rachel had decided that the best way to cope was to let herself grieve and be depressed for some weeks--then throw herself into work. She even signed up for temp waitressing at the Spotlight Diner. Anything, everything just to stop thinking. She even took it upon herself to babysit Beth and spend time with Shelby.

It took months for her to open up to anyone other than her therapist, her dads, and Kurt.

Jesse didn't leave her, making sure she had food and, the one time she had a severe cold and wanted to work anyway, helped Kurt force her into bedrest. He already knew he wanted her back, but he also didn't want to be insensitive. So on the first year after, when she and Kurt flew back to Ohio to have dinner with Burt and Carole, he offered to go with her. And when she said yes, he took it as a good sign. 

They took a long walk after the dinner. 

He asked.

She said yes.

They'd been inseparable since. She was there when he won his Tony. She was there when his parents didn't seem to care that he'd won a Tony. Having her meant he had everything he needed. When Kurt and Blaine needed a surrogate, it absolutely didn't surprise him that she said yes. That was just the incredible heart his shining star had.

He couldn't deny she still missed Finn. They talked about him sometimes. Some nights, she would have nightmares. Some nights, she whispered his name. Eventually, with therapy and other things, she slowly let him go entirely. A sweet memory, an eternal love, a place he never knew he could reach.

And for the longest time, he had a nagging anxiety in the back of his mind that she would leave him because he wasn't Finn. 

After some therapy, he believed her when she told him he was Jesse and she knew it. He was Jesse, Finn was Finn.

Somehow, there was still a fear. And eventually, he realized he was scaring himself. Overwhelming himself. And he owed Rachel trust in each and every way. One day, he decided to let go of Finn too, in his own way.

Mere weeks after he'd made the decision and pushed forward, Rachel told him she had news.

He thought, for a second, that she was leaving.

Turns out she was pregnant, and it was a boy.

* * *

 

It was Finn's death anniversary again, and Rachel had gone home to Ohio to visit his grave and her dads.

Jesse was going to follow; he had work he couldn't charm his way out of, and he wanted to see his therapist.

So that's why Jesse is in his writing corner after the appointment, which also happened to be the messiest part of the two-story home he shares with Rachel on the Upper East Side. Most of the other places are prone to Rachel's OCD, which means that at any moment, their place looks like a magazine spread waiting to be shot. Not that he minds. He loves that about her. He loves everything about her; always has, always will.

Rachel's cat, Fanny, was snoring in her elevated cat castle bed thing. Jesse smiled, remembering how excited Rachel had been to order it online and set it up herself. It was like a parenting moment in itself; for awhile, Rachel wouldn't go anywhere without Fanny.

And now they were going to have a human child.

* * *

 

> _Dear Finn,_
> 
> _I've written you before, true. I talk to you sometimes. Thing is, I'm finally okay. I'm finally absolutely secure. I trust her fully. Not that I didn't before; I knew that thinking even a little bit that she would leave me for not being you wasn't full trust though. I'm going to keep this short, I don't want to ramble._
> 
> _Did you know that she had offers throughout her NYADA stint but she chose to finish? Imagine winning a Tony with a college degree. She's becoming quite the role model. I'm sure you're proud of her. Kurt and Blaine certainly are._
> 
> _Mr. Schuester's son Danny is a redheaded dancer, and whenever they get together he always hears stories about his uncle Finn and why that's his middle name. We figure he might be getting a little tired of it, but whenever he watches the videos of your performances, he gets it. I'm sure Mr. Schuester has filled you in, though. His wife mentioned he still talks to you sometimes._
> 
> _Speaking of sons...Rachel and I are having one._
> 
> _Isn't that cool?_
> 
> _I just wanted to thank you for looking out for her. For your entire New Directions family. And, I guess, for me._
> 
> _The love you had with Rachel, for Rachel; I can't really compare that to what she and I have now. I won't, even though I did for awhile._
> 
> _Sorry about that, by the way._
> 
> _Anyway, I said this wouldn't be long._
> 
> _Thank you, Finn. Thank you._
> 
> _Hope you're playing great games up there, buddy._
> 
> _I promise to take care of her. Of them._
> 
> _Cheers,_
> 
> _Jesse_

**Author's Note:**

> Glee is on Netflix, and with everything going on in my life right now, I recently binge-watched it and relived all the feels. All these years later it still serves as motivation and inspiration. So here I am, in 2018, writing Glee fics again.


End file.
